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by satyn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Angst, Dean Hates Himself, Dubious Consent, Fluff, M/M, Parent/Child Incest, Pre-Series, Prostitution, everyone is sad the end
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-29
Updated: 2013-11-29
Packaged: 2018-01-02 23:56:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1063207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satyn/pseuds/satyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the fire you changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home

1.

 

The nightmares start when Sam turns five.

 

Four and a half years after the fire.

 

Four and a half years after Mom died and took any shot at a normal life with her.

 

The nightmares start out slow, so he tells me. Tells me it itches, and it aches. That thing behind his chest, like a fresh cut, like the blood blooming to the ridges of pulled up skin. Starts out slow, starts out aching, something wants out.

 

You do your best, you tell Sammy they're just dreams. There are scarier things in the waking world, and you hand me my new .45.

 

2.

 

After the fire our life changed.

 

Changed from Mom's pretty sun dresses and apple pies to 'saving people, hunting things.'

 

After the fire you changed.

 

You're gone more than not. When you're not on a hunt you're out scoping whatever cheap tavern is closest to whatever cheap motel we're staying at. Leaving Sammy alone with me and that kid that started showing up in his dreams.

 

The one Sammy isn't telling you about because, well, after the fire, you changed.

 

The one that's got a spiderweb voice and a serpent's tongue.

 

3. 

 

First time is when I'm eleven.

 

And it's nothing much, really, I don't think anything of it when you come home from the bar smelling like blood and booze and regret because that's just you.

 

And I don't really think anything of it when you tell Sammy to get on his own bed because Sammy's seven now and it's not like you know what's been going on.

 

But maybe I do think something of it when one of your palms lays flat on my stomach and pulls me against you. Maybe I think a little more of it when your mouth meets that little area behind my ear. Enough to whisper a shaky,

 

"Daddy?"

 

And all you do is shush me and say something about waking Sammy.

 

4.

 

Sammy's got a name, and he tells me pressed up against my chest in an excuse of the harsh Colorado winter.

 

Thinks he's too old to curl up to his big brother at night. And I nod and let him in anyway because I know the nightmares are getting bad.

 

Because we don't know when you're coming back or _if_ you're coming back and we don't know what these dreams mean and maybe because I might need that anchor just as much as Sammy does.

 

Maybe more.

 

But I don't tell him that.

 

Being strong for Sammy is the only thing I know how to do right. So let's say it's the heater's broken and it's snowing outside.

 

But he's got a name, and he murmurs it into the worn soft cotton of my shirt.

"Lucifer."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah this is terrible I'm sorry don't expect a happy ending.  
> Future chapters will probably be longer. 
> 
> There will be eventual wincest don't worry.


End file.
